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This Sunday is Mother’s Day, and it’s expected to be the single largest day of dining out this year. An estimated 38 percent of Americans will be hitting up restaurants in an effort to show appreciation for their mothers…and avoid having to actually prepare a meal in order to do so. Unfortunately, there’s plenty that can go wrong anytime you pull the family together for a nice meal out. Here are 10 ways you can instantly ruin your Mother’s Day meal.

10) Tell her she can order whatever she wants and you’ll pick up the tab, as long as it’s under $14.99.

9) When your mom comments on the fact that you ordered two desserts, shout “you’re not my real mother,” and storm off in a fit of tears.

8) Refuse to pay the bill until she admits you were her favorite child.

7) Bring up the adage that most guys want to marry someone just like their mother…then tell her you’re gay.

6) Spend the entire meal whining about the one time she forgot to pick you up from school.

5) Awkwardly serenade your mother with Boyz II Men’s “A Song for Mama” until you’re finally asked to leave.

4) Keep buying rounds of tequila until your mom finally admits you were adopted.

3) Ask if you can postpone the celebration to Monday because the KFC coupons for grilled chicken aren’t valid on Mother’s Day.

2) Forget to show up because you’re spending your Sunday watching Star Trek for the third time.

1) Take the family to Hooters so the kids can spend time with mom while she’s stuck at work.

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