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5) Frings

Oh man. I’d like to have a word with the fools who banished frings – a half order of French fries and a half order of onion rings – from Jack in the Box’s menu. Two servings of veggies in one illustriously battered-and-fried sitting!

4) Frito Burrito

An even more fundamentally, fulsomely, ravishingly and deeply disgusting take on the ol’ sprinkling of potato chips on your favorite sandwich trick, Taco Bell’s Frito Burrito took a lily – a chili-cheese burrito – and gilded it with Fritos. It was a beautiful thing, and then they snatched it away from the happily belching, fattened and lubed-up public. Bring back the crunch!

3) Shake Em Up Spicy Fries

There are few ways to improve the Freedom Fry beyond merely dunking the molten tater in a dipping sauce of your choice. One method, addressed above, is pairing it with another frizzled root vegetable; a separate, but equally taste-boosting option, is pairing it with an unexpected flavor profile. Someone in the test kitchen at Burger King had a stroke of brilliance circa 2002 and decided to pair their fries with a spicy mix: guests dumped the luscious, greasy wonders into a bag o’ spicy fun, shook it up and voilĂ : spicy fries.

2) Chicken Little

A super-value sammie ($0.39!) sold in the 80’s and 90’s, the Chicken Little was a wonder to behold: hideously compressed wads of chicken deep-fried and served on a diminutive bun with mayo. It was like a fried chicken nugget slider – the perfect ratio of meat to fried breading neatly sandwiched together with just enough greasy umami goodness from the mayo to prevent the dreaded carb-fest dry mouth syndrome. The Great Recession is calling your name, Chicken Little.

1) The Concept of Supersizing

?Thanks to hippies, health nuts and other do-gooders (not to mention the film “Super Size Me”) attempting to ward off childhood diabetes, the fascinating phenomenon of grossly obese toddlers and the unique joy of sitting down and consuming 4,000 calories in one 15-minute sitting, McDonalds kicked the option of Supersizing off its menu in 2004, a dark day for our nation. Luckily, waddling up to the counter for “seconds” hasn’t been banned…yet.

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