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On Tuesday, The Colbert Report offered an in-depth feature on the new lab-grown meat that’s sure to be sweeping the nation and preserving a sunnier future for cow’s everywhere. PETA has endorsed the creation of lab-grown meat in the hopes it will offer a viable alternative for all those soulless meat-eaters who endorse the slaughter of animals just because it leads to a delicious meal. So, if you have a conscience but you also enjoy meat, then “schmeat” might just be the product for you.

Or, maybe not…

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