The 8 Types of Coffee Shop Customers

For a large number of people, coffee shops are a staple part of the daily routine. If you’ve spent more than a few minutes in a Starbucks, Tully’s, or a local coffee shop, you’ve probably noticed it’s easy to separate the customers into a few distinct groups. So, without further adieu, here are the 8 types of coffee shop customers.

1) The Guy Who Thinks It’s His Office

He orders a grande drip at 9 in the morning and spends the next six hours with a laptop splayed out across a table that could easily seat 4. Whatever he’s working on is clearly important; so important in fact, that he’ll occasionally flash an irritated glance at anyone rude enough to distract him by treating his office like an actual coffee shop.

2) The High Maintenance Orderer

This person knows what they want and will articulate it in painful detail. There’s a high likelihood it will involve soy, and an equal chance an exact temperature will be specified. You’re looking at an average dialogue time of at least sixty seconds while the cashier repeats the order back at least three times before it’s finally (and irritatedly) confirmed as correct.

3) The Intern Grabbing Coffee For an Entire Office

If there’s one person you don’t want to be stuck in line behind, it’s this guy (or gal). You’ll think you’re second in line, only to realize the one person in front of you is placing orders for an entire office. They rifle through their pockets and pull out a piece of paper with such care you’d assume it contained some sort of launch code, and as they begin carefully reading off the list, you suddenly realize you’re not second in line at all. An entire sales team just jumped right in front of you.

4) The Person Without a Second to Spare

It’s just one thing after another, and it’s amazing this person is even able to make time to stop off for a caffeine fix. If they’re not on their cell-phone then they’re emailing on their Blackberry, and anyone who takes a breath before placing their order is likely to get an evil eye for holding up the line. The irony, however, often comes when this person living life in a perpetual rush steps up to place their order and reveals they are in fact a high maintenance orderer in disguise.