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Come on, America. It’s time to get your shit together. You’ve fallen drastically behind the UK and parts of Europe, and it’s embarrassing. No, I’m not talking about the value of your dollar, the quality of your health care, or the fuel efficiency of your cars. I’m referring directly to the egregious lack of bitters when it comes to your beer selection.

Sure, you’ve got a couple of ESBs here and there, but they don’t compare to the creamy smoothness that is a bonafied bitter beer. Walk into a pub in England and you’ve got a delicious array of bitters to choose from. Even non-UK cities in Europe often have a bitter or two on tap to offer their thirsty patrons. We, meanwhile, get Bud Light, Coors, or Miller Light, all of which taste not unlike chilled urine.

We’ve imported the Beatles, Kate Winslet, and Harry Potter novels. Isn’t it about time we borrow once again from our neighbors across the pond and bring home some frothy, delicious brews for the hard-working American? Even Bruce Springsteen thinks it’s a good idea, and he’s as American as it gets. So how about we get on the bitter bandwagon and make the Boss happy (or if not him, then at least the writers of Daily Fork)?

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