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White wine stains teeth? I don’t get it. It’s white. Teeth are white. How can white stain something that’s also white? It just doesn’t seem fair.

However, Health.com and their “legitimate reporting” seem to be contradicting my unresearched assumption that drinking copious amounts of white wine couldn’t possibly be harmful to anything but my liver. This is truly some distressing news, and if I can’t have red wine or white wine without staining my teeth, I guess I’m going to be drinking nothing but coffee from here on out.

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