It’s hardly breaking news that SkyMall features some of the most ridiculously unnecessary products ever conceived. But, when it comes to one-note kitchen gadgets and superfluous food items, the in-flight shopping magazine of choice really takes things to a special level. So, as a tribute to frivolous spending while stuck at 40,000 feet, we’ve compiled the 10 most absurd SkyMall kitchen gadgets.
1) Voice Recognition Grocery List
What It Does:
“This device stores and prints grocery lists generated from the items you speak into its microphone. Using an integrated voice recognition system, the shopping list manager matches a spoken item with one of the 2,500 food, beverage, household, beauty, and office products in its database. Each spoken product appears on the LCD and you can add it to the list and print an alphabetized record with the touch of a button.”
Why It’s Ridiculous:
With the number of devices already at your disposal for jotting down a quick reminder that you need more milk, the idea of adding another one to the mix seems absurd enough already. Plus, we’re thinking if you can afford $100 for something that replaces a 99 cent notepad, your time is probably far too valuable to be spent fiddling with a device to “customize the sequence in which the products print to correspond with the layout of your grocery store.”
Possible Substitutes:
Pen and paper, notepad, cell phone voice recording, just using your memory
Suggested Retail Price:
$99.95
2) Omnifrio Cold Beverage Center
What It Does:
“With the touch of a button, the Omnifrio produces healthy, single-serving alternatives to soda and sports drinks in less than 30 seconds. The built-in carbonation unit allows you to choose between sparkling and non-sparkling beverages, while a collection of flavor pods puts a wide assortment of taste options at your disposal. Simply select your carbonation preference, choose a flavor, and press the button to dispense your custom-made beverage.”
Why It’s Ridiculous:
If you’re looking for a healthy alternative to soda and sports drinks, a juicer might not be a bad idea. However, purchasing your very own healthy custom fountain drink dispenser seems a tiny bit excessive. Never mind the fact that “flavor pods” don’t exactly sound 100 percent natural, the scariest part of this gadget is the almost $300 price tag.
Possible Substitutes:
Fruit juice, water, milk, pretty much any other store-bought beverage
Suggested Retail Price:
$299.00
3) Lasagna Trio Pan
What It Does:
“Make 3 dinners from one batch–tonight’s dinner and two others for future nights. (Unexpected guests are no problem.) Or, you can make 3 kinds of lasagna to please the crowd–all veggies, meat, or cheese. The 3 separate non-stick channels allow the cook to be creative and a custom-fit, exclusive spatula is deep enough to get that great first piece with no mess. The width and length of each channel is the same as standard lasagna noodles to make lasagna building fast and easy!”
Why It’s Ridiculous:
Making one lasagna recipe is already a bit of an undertaking, so why anyone would want to attack three recipes at once is beyond us. Add to that the fact that one of the best parts of homemade lasagna is having enough leftovers to feed an entire family for a week, and we can’t quite wrap our head around why this product would even exist.
Possible Substitutes:
A regular pan, three regular sized pans, frozen lasagna
Suggested Retail Price:
$79.95
4) Snack Sandwich Maker
What It Does:
“With this Snack Sandwich Maker you can make a toasted cheese sandwich, a Pizza Calzone or a cherry turnover quickly and easily with no mess, no plug, no problem! The snack maker is easy to use: Simply start with a slice of bread over one side of the open snack maker, add your favorite sandwich ingredients and another slice of bread. Then close the snack maker and heat over a gas stove, coiled electric stove, or a campfire, turning frequently.”
Why It’s Ridiculous:
Granted this might be somewhat useful if you’re making cherry turnovers in the middle of the wilderness, but for any other scenario, you’re blessed with plenty of simple alternatives. You’d think anyone too lazy to use a pan for cooking would recoil in disgust at the idea of turning frequently, but apparently the Snack Sandwich Maker is a nifty enough gadget to warrant the extra effort.
Possible Substitutes:
An oven, a pan, a toaster oven, pretty much any hot surface
Suggested Retail Price:
$69.95
5) Heart Shaped Waffle Maker
What It Does:
“This polished stainless steel waffle maker is round in shape with an easy open handle and bottom cord storage. Unit can cook up to six heart shaped waffles at one time. A green light lets the home chef know when it is time to pour in their waffle batter, and appears again when waffles are golden brown. Six temperature settings control desired crispness allowing no mistakes for new chefs!”
Why It’s Ridiculous:
Either you’re tying yourself down to nothing but heart shaped waffles for the remainder of your adult life, or you’re so obsessed with having the option of making heart shaped waffles you’re willing to store two separate waffle makers. Either way, that seems pretty stupid.
Possible Substitutes:
Non heart shaped waffle maker, frozen waffles, heart shaped pancakes
Suggested Retail Price:
$24.99
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