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When you decide to dine out, you’re opting to trade the comfort and privacy of eating at home for all the conveniences that come along with having someone else prepare and serve food for you. However, depending on the type of restaurant you frequent, there’s always a chance you’ll find yourself in close proximity to an annoying diner, who’s seemingly sole purpose is to ensure you’re unable to enjoy your dinner. Here are 8 types of restaurant goers that fit this description, and will ruin your dining experience at the drop of a hat.


1) The Cell Phone Talker

The restaurant cell phone talker is hard to spot until they decide to strike, and although there are varying degrees and types, the most common can be easily identified by a ringtone so loud it echoes throughout the entire restaurant. At first you assume they’re rustling through their purse or pockets in a hurried attempt to silence their phone before further embarrassing themselves, but instead they actually answer the phone and unapologetically leap into their own world of conversation. It doesn’t matter that their voice went up about 40 decibels as soon as they picked up the phone. It’s your newly acquired privilege to hear all about their hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities. Or, at the very least, what their plans are for the remainder of the night.

2) The Neglectful Parent

Since everyone knows children are little bundles of joy, clearly it’s the parent’s fault when they run amok through a restaurant. And, the neglectful parent is usually pretty easy to spot. They’re the one wearing sweat pants, looking like they just got off a ten hour flight, and with more bags around their table than you’d need for an entire camping trip. These are the parents that let their kids wander through the restaurant while they sit at the table staring desperately at the drink menu wondering if one martini would really hurt anything. The lucky part for you is that your dinner is now enhanced by the delightful little kids who randomly wander past, occasionally stopping to stare at you with their soulless eyes.

3) The Constant Complainer

This diner falls into a lower tier because they can often skate by completely unnoticed. However, when you are unfortunate enough to be in close proximity, you’ll be treated to a constant barrage of whining about everything from the water being too warm to the meat being undercooked, or even the dessert being too expensive. You can almost guarantee that something will be sent back, and you’ll be hearing a fury of complaints until the dish is finally brought back to the table and deemed “satisfactory.” It wouldn’t really be that much of a problem for you, if not for the fact that while this a-hole is busy monopolizing your waiter’s time, you’re stuck waiting for a refill on your Dr. Pepper. After all, it’s not like you’re dining at the Ritz, so just chill out and eat what you get.

4) The Overly Amorous Couple

Also known as “same side of the booth couples,” these are the schmoopy duos that can’t keep from fawning all over each other, even during a 45-minute meal. Constant kissing, hand-holding, and occasional under the table foolishness provide a constant distraction from your meal as you sit there being forced to reassess every second of your lonely life. These are usually the same couples that kiss at every red light when they’re in the car together. They’ll leave you so dejected that when the server finally asks “can I get you anything else?” you’ll find a tear slowly dribbling down your cheek as you reply, “happiness…?”

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