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?If you travel on business, or even if you’re a fan of extensive leisure travel, chances are you’ve found yourself in a few scenarios where dining alone is pretty much a necessary evil. Yes, it can be boring, and yes, it’s easy to get self-conscious about the fact that everyone is probably judging you for being a weird-looking loner who doesn’t have any friends, but it doesn’t have to be the be-all and end-all of public embarrassment. In fact, if you use these 10 simple tips, you can make the time fly right by and actually enjoy your solitary dining experience. Or not. The tips really aren’t that useful.

1) Assign everyone in the restaurant a comical nickname and amusing backstory.

2) Count the seconds between when you’ve finished your coffee and when it gets refilled.

3) Pretend to be checking your text messages because you’re just so important.

4) Request a table for two and then garner sympathy by pretending you’ve been stood up.

5) Pull out a notebook and scribble furiously as if you’re working on the most thought-provoking piece of writing ever.

6) Carry on a conversation with yourself and/or quietly narrate everything you’re doing until someone finally takes notice.

7) Make napkin origami. (Don’t be afraid to ask for more napkins.)

8) Single out one specific person and stare at them until you get the feeling they’re starting to get really uncomfortable, then angrily ask them, “What are you looking at?”

9) Make awkward small talk with your server while secretly wishing you were a more interesting person.

10) Read a book.

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