1) “Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can’t taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie.” – Astrid Alauda
But when the apocalypse comes, you can’t store a carrot indefinitely.
2) “Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn.” – Garrison Keillor
C’mon Mr. Keillor, you know how you always mix up the words “corn” and “sex.”
3) “The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor.” – Chinese Proverb
I’m pretty sure the thousands of loyal customers at the Old Country Buffet would beg to differ.
4) “Food is an important part of a balanced diet.” – Fran Lebowitz
Yogi Berra couldn’t have said it better himself.
5) “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” – Jim Davis
Obviously, lasagna is also an essential.
6) “Toots Shore’s restaurant is so crowded nobody goes there anymore.” – Yogi Berra
Sorry Fran, Yogi is still the king.
7) “I eat merely to put food out of my mind.” – N.F. Simpson
That means you’re not doing it right.
8) “It is illegal to give someone food in which has been found a dead mouse or weasel.” – Ancient Irish law
Actually, this sounds pretty reasonable.
9) “You can’t get ice cream out of shit…I don’t care how much you stir.” – Unknown.
True, but there has got to be a more eloquent way to make the same point.
10) “As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal.” – Mr. T.
It’s hard to pity the fo’ on an empty stomach.
We always want to be transparent and honest about our article content. From time to time, we may link to products and services that compensate us for the referral. This does not affect your cost, but it does help us fund future content for this site.