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You’re a dude. You live in your own place or with a roommate. You are straight. You just graduated from college. Here’s the stuff we’d most likely find in your tiny apartment kitchen.

1) Plastic Cups from Sporting Events

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​That’s right, we’re on to you. We know you stayed through the boring 7-0 shutout to hang around looking for the souvenir cups people left in the stadium after the game ended. Now, they adorn your miniscule cabinet along with a set of mismatched mugs your mom gave you from her own kitchen. We see logos from a hockey team, a triple A baseball team, the NBA and a few colleges in there, too. Remember, no dishwasher bottom racks for your collection.

2) Ramen

​It’s cheap, easy and until you’ve had 4 packages in a row, delicious. Why wouldn’t you have a couple dozen in your pantry? Throw in a few frozen veggies, and call it healthy. These should hold you over until your next visit to the parents’ for some home-cooking.

3) Bottle Opener

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​Just because those Coors Lights are twist off doesn’t mean it’s not more fun to use your Homer Simpson bottle opener that declares, “Mmmmm, beer,” every time you flip away a cap. If you want to get fancy, mount one of those nice metal ones to the wall above your trash can. Your date will surely be impressed that you used an opener instead of your teeth.

4) Mismatched Plates

​The few times you use non-paper plates are for the occasions spent entertaining that special lady friend, hosting a Superbowl party, or showing the parents your new cooking skills. For those precious moments, there’s a black plate with the small chip on the rim, the random Christmas wreath motif plate, the thin ceramic plate from 1978 and the one remaining beige plate from what used to be a set of 4. It’s a given that you’ll also probably have at least a few bowls for those cereal breakfasts and canned soup lunches.

5) Beer

​Bottled mostly, because you’re moving on up in the world since graduation. Also, you need bottles to open with your awesome bottle opener you just mounted on the wall. Cheers!

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