​The only positive re-imagining of this episode involves placing Robin, Eve (the 2nd one cast off the show, remember her?), Ron and Preeti in the same Bocuse d’Or-themed trial to see what abominations they come up with for this mega-challenge. We imagine some sort of bacon wrapped shrimp stuffed with Monterey-jack cheese and a jalapeno, like the ones served as appetizers at your local bar and grill, perhaps some form of mashed potatoes shaped into a flower or something equally as mundane and a zucchini carved into a caterpillar?

Like movie critics forced to write reviews for Wild Hogs, the uber-judging at this week’s challenge seemed overly negative and, as the title of this post states, snooty and pretentious. If we learned anything about the Bocuse d’Or from the judges or the challenge, it’s that the competition is all about super-fancy cruise food set upon fancy silver platters for a panel of snooty and pretentious Frenchies. Maybe the people at Fancy Feast could compete in an animal version?

In other news, Eli’s gone. Can’t say we were surprised, but we were pretty sad to see our little Momma’s boy pack his knives. The peanut soup from last week was a ticking time bomb.

Jen’s streak of confidence comes just in time for the finals (in which she sports a much healthier looking head of curly hair) along with Kevin’s consistent food and gnome-like charm, Michael’s badass and slightly annoying attitude of self-importance and intensity and Bryan’s all-around joviality and nervous laugh. Stir it all together and whaddya got? Top Chef finals, and we’re drinking the Kool Aid.

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