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​It’s official, the phrase “I’m not worried about anything,” in the commentary, which is done after filming and editing, is code for, “I will be eliminated this episode.” Thus, Mike, the resident mis-pronouncing chauvinist, is dead on arrival with his poorly cooked leek entrée.

Also official: Robin is like gum on the bottom of our shoes. She’s annoying, relentless and just keeps hanging on. There will be a revolt if Robin isn’t packing those knives next week, especially since the remaining chefs are all worthy of competing for the top prize.

Michael V. gets his panties in a wad when Kevin’s hearty mushroom and smoked pile of greens garners top prize. The better brother’s artful display of confusing ingredients, including a banana polenta, came in at a close second. Perhaps Michael doesn’t understand that sometimes you just want a big steaming pile of goodness (not to be confused with other types of steaming piles), as opposed to a pretty jigsaw puzzle of confusion.

Natalie Portman made her Top Chef debut, throwing the non-meatatarian curve ball at our poor, unsuspecting chefs. Meanwhile, Eli’s inner nerd shines through as he praises not her beauty, pleasant demeanor or incredible film credits, but her appearance in the Star Wars movies. So, you live at home, admitted your Star Wars geek-ness on national television and came back into the kitchen after service gushing like a teenage boy about Natalie Portman’s hot friends…Triumph the Comic Insult Dog would love to have a shot at you. We, however, would just like to try a tiny bit of your amazing food.

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