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?If we had to deconstruct this episode, this would be it:

Robin proves nothing. Eli is average. Kevin wins, again. Jennifer still kicks ass. Ron is gone!

But, we have much more than five sentences, so we’ll elaborate.

First of all, we’d like a little Top Chef with our commercial breaks, if that’s ok, Bravo. And now, even with DVR, we’ve been duped by the mini-snippets in-between the commercials cleverly planted by the commercial programming dude (or dudette). Oh, you crazy television executives!

In-between the seemingly hours-long commercials, the Robin-hating almost got nasty, which seemed really convenient for her quickfire win. How in the hell are we supposed to believe that an arugula salad and an apple crisp won? Even Michelle Bernstein seemed to have a rough time spitting out the announcement that Robin’s dish won her immunity.

Robin’s win, despite her continually weakest link status, gave us a new gallon of haterade now that Ron is finally gone. Our new prediction: Robin or Ash say sayonara next week. Ash has continued to underwhelm, while Robin’s boring dishes and hyperactivity push her toward the edge.

Meanwhile, Mike surprises us once again with his culinary ignorance. How does a chef make it to this level on Top Chef without a.) knowing the correct pronunciation of “gyro” from last week and b.) knowing what eggs Florentine was. We thought he might make it to the final four, but we’ve changed our tune.

Mike V. is heating up the sibling rivalry with yet another visit to the “best dishes” Chef’s Table. You better bring it Bryan, or Michael is going to emulsify your chances at the title.

Jennifer makes yet another amazing dish that lands her in the top while Kevin remains the cutest gnome chef ever (as well as the winner). Ashley makes a second appearance in the best dishes circle with her pot roast–with yet another reference to growing up poor, and Eli skates down the road of mediocrity with his spiky hair and bull’s testicles. Laurine could be flying under the radar, but we predict her downfall in the next three episodes.

Next week: incessant babbling and blah food from Robin, brother against brother, Jennifer and Kevin make awesome dishes, Ash falters, Eli remains the spunky chubby kid, Ashley continues her upward climb, Laurine gets annoyed by Robin and Toby says something annoyingly British. But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

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