{"id":985,"date":"2009-09-10T10:41:31","date_gmt":"2009-09-10T10:41:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyfork.com\/ode_to_frenchy_top_chef_recap\/"},"modified":"2021-04-22T19:49:03","modified_gmt":"2021-04-22T19:49:03","slug":"ode_to_frenchy_top_chef_recap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyfork.com\/new\/ode_to_frenchy_top_chef_recap\/","title":{"rendered":"Ode to Frenchy: Top Chef Recap"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\"Top-Chef-Logo.jpg\"<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

?<\/span>No offense American military, but today’s episode was much higher on the culinary scale of excitement. Starting at full speed with a quickfire dealing with pesky garden pests and kicking someone off in the process, the producers must have felt bad after their salute to boring food<\/a> by striking a balance with their ode to French cuisine this week. In honor of the stellar episode, we’ve written a letter to the remaining cheftestants.<\/p>\n

Dear chefs,<\/p>\n

You idiots (the ones that were taken aback by the French challenge), don’t you know after watching the previous five seasons that there most certainly is going to be a French food challenge? You should always carry the French sauce arrow in your quiver.<\/p>\n

Robin: Keep up the hyperactivity. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your neurosis is entertaining. Ativan is bad for ratings. <\/p>\n

Ron: You’re boring. It’s only a matter of time.<\/p>\n

Mike: We hope you’ll become more villain-y as the season progresses. Maybe not the level of villainy reached by Marcel<\/a> or Hung<\/a>, but perhaps a tinge more smarmyness is needed.<\/p>\n

Brothers: Keep on cooking. We’re already predicting a head to head with Jen and Kevin in the final 4. Just please, no more foams, ok?<\/p>\n

Jen: We shall dub you, intense lady. And by intense, we mean totally sweet<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Kevin: Goshdarnit if you don’t look like a gnome, or Santa’s personal chef. Whatever it is, we hope to visit your hobbit hole one day for a totally down to earth, slap-your-mama-it’s-so-good meal. And no, hobbit hole is not a euphemism.<\/p>\n

Mattin: We think you’re cute, but maybe a little bit clueless. If we didn’t want to stow you away in our pockets, we’d think that you might need a little more brushing up on your skillz. Also, what did you mean by “escargot is my whole youth?” That sounds quite horrifying to us.<\/p>\n

Ashley: Please don’t wear tuxedo t-shirts<\/a>. Ever. Please do, however, keep trucking. We’d like to see you get farther than Ron, who we have no good reason to root for his demise, but we do anyway.<\/p>\n

Colicchio: It’s “pack your knives and go,” not “pack your knives and leave.” Where have you been the last few years?<\/p>\n

Ash: You have a cool name. Other than that and the fact that you’re gay, we really have no knowledge of you. Kick it up, or as you said tonight, “balls to the wall.”<\/p>\n

Eli: There was a shortage of crazy haired dudes this season, so we see you proceeding pretty far. We’d also like to see you drunk for some reason. <\/p>\n

Chef Boulud and Robuchon: We’d eat anything cooked by you. No, really.<\/p>\n

Gail: Keep saying bitchy stuff so they’ll have stuff to tease before commercial breaks.<\/p>\n

Laurine: You made a pasta salad, and for that, we can never forgive you.<\/p>\n

With a hungry heart,
\nDaily Fork<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

?No offense American military, but today’s episode was much higher on the culinary scale of excitement. Starting at full speed with a quickfire dealing with pesky garden pests and kicking someone off in the process, the producers must have felt bad after their salute to boring food by striking a balance with their ode to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-general"],"yoast_head":"\nDaily Fork - Ode to Frenchy: Top Chef Recap<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Daily Fork - Ode to Frenchy: Top Chef Recap\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"?No offense American military, but today’s episode was much higher on the culinary scale of excitement. 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