{"id":514,"date":"2009-05-28T19:21:15","date_gmt":"2009-05-28T19:21:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailyfork.com\/stop_food-jacking_me\/"},"modified":"2021-04-22T20:00:26","modified_gmt":"2021-04-22T20:00:26","slug":"stop_food-jacking_me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailyfork.com\/new\/stop_food-jacking_me\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Food-Jacking Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image\" style=\"display: inline;\"><\/p>\n<table class=\"image left\" border=\"0\" width=\"130\">\n<tr>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Empty-Plate.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/dailyfork.com\/files\/empty-plate.jpg\" width=\"130\"\/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<p><\/span>Sweden&#8217;s supposed to be neutral when it comes to conflicts, but I&#8217;ve got a major conflict with them right now and it needs a goddamn resolution. I had been in the country for two and a half days and already got food-jacked twice by stealthy, uncaring waiters. I&#8217;m starting to sense a pattern here: the waiter drops off delicious food, I either start to eat it or plan on saving something for later, some time passes, I look away or get distracted and the waiter swoops in and clears my plate, stealing my food away from me before I can finish it.<\/p>\n<p>The first offense occurred at an upscale restaurant. I sat down and saw a date-stamped bag sitting on my plate that contained homemade crackers and breadsticks. I kept them next to my plate and ate my meal, figuring I could munch on them throughout lunch and save whatever I didn&#8217;t end up eating for later. Once lunch was finished, my waitress walked over and briskly stacked all of the dirty plates, turned to leave, and Stretch Armstrong&#8217;d my bag of snacks off the table before heading back to the kitchen. I sat there with my mouth agape, wondering why she would deprive me like that.<\/p>\n<p>The next day, I was eating lunch with some colleagues when someone asked me a question. I paused to chew and swallow my food, then proceeded to give a lengthy response. While I was talking, a waiter appeared and started clearing plates off the table, including mine, which still had 1\/3 of a chicken breast and several spoonfuls of cous cous. Before I could finish my sentence and blurt out &#8220;HeyI&#8217;mstilleatingdon&#8217;ttakethataway,&#8221; he was gone. I felt as if he had stolen my food, cackled maniacally and threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared in a cloudy haze.<\/p>\n<p>Listen, Sweden. I don&#8217;t know how you operate over there with your 10,000 islands, ABBA tribute concerts and your Dolph Lundgren movie marathons, but over here in the good ol&#8217; US of A we do not clear someone&#8217;s plate unless that bad boy has been licked clean. And when it does still have some food on it, we ask if the customer would like a box for the leftovers so he can take the extra food home and eat the rest of it later. Enough with the &#8220;spirited away&#8221; bullshit. Stop food-jacking me! I&#8217;ve paid good kronor for these meatballs, and I&#8217;m going to eat every last one of them. The next time you reach for my plate and I&#8217;m not done, you&#8217;re going to get a fork through your hand.<\/p>\n<p>\t\t    <!--googleoff: all-->\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sweden&#8217;s supposed to be neutral when it comes to conflicts, but I&#8217;ve got a major conflict with them right now and it needs a goddamn resolution. I had been in the country for two and a half days and already got food-jacked twice by stealthy, uncaring waiters. I&#8217;m starting to sense a pattern here: the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-general"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Daily Fork - Stop Food-Jacking Me<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Daily Fork - Stop Food-Jacking Me\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sweden&#8217;s supposed to be neutral when it comes to conflicts, but I&#8217;ve got a major conflict with them right now and it needs a goddamn resolution. I had been in the country for two and a half days and already got food-jacked twice by stealthy, uncaring waiters. 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