Yup, if you’re wondering how to claim your own spot on a reality show chronicling your struggle with obesity, there’s finally a list of items for you to systematically track down and devour. A list of The 20 Worst Foods in America was published by Men’s Health and features some of the most dishearteningly unhealthy items available.

It’s not like any of these really come as much of a surprise, but it is a little bit awe inspiring to see this many wonderful items lined up alongside each other in a murderers row of deliciousness. But, of all the items on the list, we do take great issue with the Blimpie Veggie Supreme.

This sandwich has 1,106 calories and 56 grams of fat without containing even one bite of meaty goodness. Eating one of these is the culinary equivalent of being punished for a crime you didn’t even commit. If you’re going to pack on the pounds you might as well go for one of the “home run” items on the list and have a Chili’s Smokehouse Bacon Triple-The-Cheese Big Mouth Burger. It might be almost twice as many calories, but at least you can taste every last one of them.

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