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There are certain meals that cause a person to sit back and wave their napkin like a flag of surrender. Meals that always seem like they’re just a bit too filling, and leave you useless for the remainder of the day as you attempt to fight off the uncontrollable urge to curl up on the floor and sleep for a few hours. We’ve experienced more than our fair share of meals ending in precisely this fashion, and using both empirical evidence and personal experience, we’re pleased to bring you the definitive (highly unscientific) list of 7 foods that will have you fantasizing about a nap before you’ve even finished licking your fingers.

7) Baked Italian Foods

Unless you’re eating in a large group, chances are good that Family Style means way too much food. And, it’s hard to come by a heartier meal than any sort of baked Italian cuisine. Whether it’s lasagna, ziti, or manicotti, you’ll be getting enough cheese to pretty much glue you to your chair until you can muster the energy to waddle out of the restaurant and head home for some well deserved rest.

6) Banana and a Warm Glass of Milk

It might just be nostalgia, but this home remedy for insomnia still packs enough punch to make us long for slumberland. Although it’s somewhat questionable whether the effects are merely psychological or actually physical, the theory is that the banana contains melatonin and serotonin to make you sleepy and the milk actually contains small amounts of tryptophan. We’re less concerned with the fancy science of it all, and more interested in the fact that it makes the eyelids go all droopy.

5) Biscuits and Gravy

A breakfast favorite that usually starts out with excitement and then slowly fades until there’s one biscuit left on the plate and the once enjoyable meal has shifted into a test of endurance. The combination of several thick and filling biscuits with a hearty country gravy is enough to weigh you down for the remainder of the day. And, even if you’re able to stave off the inevitable food coma, you still have to cope with feeling like you’re wearing a backpack full of bricks.

4) Buffets

Whether it’s a high-end spread or a tacky trip to the Old Country Buffet, there’s still one common bond: nothing is stopping you from eating way too much. The overzealous effort to try as many things as possible coupled with an unhealthy desire to “get your money’s worth” tend to lead to a self-inflicted recreation of the “gluttony” scene from Seven. Only this one ends when your stomach can’t hold another morsel of food and you need a team of people to help get you home and lower you onto your bed.

3) Chicken Tikka Masala or Butter Chicken

We’re guessing it’s the copious amounts of butter, or the fact that our Indian food experience is often served up in the incredibly dangerous buffet format (see #4) but something about this meal zaps all productivity from the remainder of the day. You could have a to-do list with 20 things on it and the best intentions in the world, but once you sop up that last bit of sauce, all your ambition goes right out the window and you’re ready to lay on the couch watching Bend It Like Beckham on basic cable.

2) Turkey Dinner

Probably the most often cited culprit of post-meal drowsiness, turkey is commonly considered sleep inducing because it contains tryptophan, an amino acid that can act as a natural sedative. However, tryptophan might not be to blame for just how exhausted you feel at the conclusion of your Thanksgiving dinner. The more likely cause is increased blood flow to the GI tract brought about by extreme overeating, and possibly the fact that most Thanksgiving dinners are accompanied by ample amounts of wine. However, whether it’s tryptophan or just plain gluttony, the end result is always the same.

1) Nyquil-Glazed Donut

Donuts are usually considered a nice early morning treat to get the day started on the right foot. However, when your donut is glazed in actual Nyquil, you can expect the pick-me-up to last somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes before your day comes to a screeching halt. The Nyquil-Glazed Donut was served at Voodoo Doughnut in Portland right up until the “fun-police” (read: FDA) required that the breakfast snack be discontinued because it violated some sort of “law.” Although we’ve never actually tasted the now banned food, we’re still convinced it’s hard to top Nyquil in terms of knocking you out for the rest of the day.

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