While watching the Academy Awards last night we couldn’t help but notice the Diet Coke ad featuring Top Chef host Tom Colicchio. The Pitch, in Kansas City, proposes this move is just a shameless attempt on Colicchio’s part to make a quick buck, and we’re inclined to agree. There’s so much cognitive dissonance in the commercial that it’s somewhat akin to watching Ray Lewis all suited up for the playoffs and giving sensitivity training instead. The two things just don’t go together, and it makes everyone extremely uncomfortable. We’ve spent the past several hours trying to figure out the equation for this commercial and the best we can come up with is:

Culinary Excellence + Diet Coke = Giant Wads of Cash

We checked our work and the formula seems to hold up. Now we just want to see Toby Young in a 60-second commercial where he uses a World War 2 analogy to sing the praises of RC Cola.

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