8 Annoying Food Descriptions

Flickr: StarbuckGuy

?Are you guilty of utilizing these words/phrases to describe that tantalizing cake you made last week? To rave about that incredible new restaurant that opened recently? Well, if you have, you’re annoying, and we want you to stop.

1) Nom Nom Nom

To people who use this recently coined term to describe how much you liked your meal: Are you related to Cookie Monster? What does this mean, exactly? Is it an onomatopoeia? Lastly, what the hell is wrong with you?

2) Cooked to perfection (thanks to yelp for this one)

Still not sure why this bothers us, just that it does. While it’s a valid description, one person’s view of perfection might differ greatly with that of another. We, for instance, prefer our steaks medium rare, while other ignorant fools actually think the charred ruins of a good piece of beef are best when eaten well done.

Also annoying on menu descriptions. Any restaurant describing a dish as “cooked to perfection,” is just setting the diner up for probable disappointment.

3) Rustic

It took us a while to catch on to this one. We finally figured out that it means, “chopped roughly.” It’s essentially a term to describe either home cooking-type dishes, or things with large chunks of meat and vegetables.

The “official” term, according to Merriam-Webster online: of, relating to, or suitable for the country. Therefore, our theory is that “rustic” should only be used to describe things containing ham hocks, milk from a glass jar and pig’s feet.

4) Cloying

Maybe our annoyance stems from a surge of usage of this term from the is-she-or-isn’t-she annoying Chopped judge, Alex Guarnaschelli, to describe the competitors’ dessert dishes. Perhaps it’s just because the term sounds too intellectual to describe something as “too sweet.” Whatever the case, just stop using it…please.

5) Sublime

Hyperbole is funny at times (guys do love exaggeration humor), but people that use this term are usually sincere in their earnest and zealous depictions of certain meals that are, apparently, very, very good. So next time, just say, “It was very, very good,” and spare us the annoyance. Thanks.

6) Ethereal

Yep, we’ve been guilty of this one for SURE. We have annoyed ourselves more than once when describing something light, airy and usually shrimp-containing (which, in hindsight, is actually pretty strange). For the record, we apologize.

Here’s the definition, once again from Merriam-Webster online: marked by unusual delicacy or refinement.

7) Juxtaposition of flavors

Add to this one: a balance of sweet and salty, the savory-sweet combination, or any version thereof.

If you continue to use this one, we’ll juxtapose your face. So there.

8) Sexy

Really, there’s absolutely no reason…ever…to describe any food as “sexy.”

Things that are, in fact, sexy: Tyler Florence (who has, at times, unsexily used the term “sexy” to describe food), stiletto heels, boxer-briefs, Penelope Cruz and your mom (booyah!).