‘Tis the season for outdoor partying amongst drunken sports fans in parking lots. Face paint, team jersey and foam finger in tow, let’s prepare for the upcoming playoffs with this necessary tailgating gear.

6) Tailgate Partymate

Unfold your own mini-diner from the back of your truck. No more pesky folding tables from Costco to deal with when you have this tailgate version of Optimus Prime. The alternate name for the Tailgate Partymate was in fact, “More than meets the eye,” but when the second version came out and everyone thought it sucked despite the big name director and massive budget, they changed it back to Tailgate Partygate for PR purposes.

5) Grillslinger Sport BBQ Tool System

Men love tools. Men love fire and charred meats. Men love football. By association of all the previous statements, men should love the Grillslinger Sport BBQ Tool System. A tool belt of grilling accessories for the tailgating male in his parking lot habitat, this system organizes things like metal spatulas and wire brushes on a belt you’ll never see in fashion week.

4) Disposable Grill

Add another disposable item to the tailgate checklist. Along with paper plates, plastic cups, paper napkins, plastic cutlery and paper or plastic table cloths, the disposable grill promises that you’ll have an extra-full garbage bag at the end of your parking lot picnic. Make sure the embers are out before you toss the grill, or you’ll have an extra full garbage bag that also happens to be on fire.

3) Redneck Weenie Tailgate Cooker

Need something to keep your man-meat from burning? The Redneck Weenie Tailgate Cooker is your solution. Full of sexual suggestiveness and stainless steal, there’s not much else we can write that could be funnier or more ridiculous than the actual product.

2) Cruizin Cooler

Stay mobile and drunk on a cooler with wheels. For the social tailgaters, keeping up with the Jones’ just got easier. You’ll be like the ice cream man at the beach, sans the “caution children” signs and the annoying music. You don’t have to worry about drunk driving accidents, because this go-kart cooler doesn’t go any faster than your average tricycle.

1) Magnetic Coozies

What can we write about magnetic coozies that hasn’t already been written in the annals of history by the likes of Dickens and Hemingway? Many things, actually, like, “these are the greatest coozies on the face of the earth” (if you’re a die-hard tailgater). No more annoying beer spills, or soda if that’s your bag, while trying to simultaneously balance your paper plate full of barbecue, hold a napkin and eat your food.

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