A recent episode of the Food Network’s competition show Chopped featured a vegan chef who was promptly given the boot after being unable to properly prepare the protein for the appetizer course. The protein was baby octopus, so not being overly familiar with it isn’t exactly the greatest of culinary crimes. However, her complaint that she’s not used to working with meat did have us begging the question, why would a vegan chef get involved in a competition that hinges on being able to combine mystery ingredients into one harmonious dish?

Seeing as how the odds of getting a basket full of vegan mystery ingredients is pretty much nil, it seemed like a losing battle from the get go. But, it did get us thinking about a few reasons it might be best for some chefs to forgo the glamor of a Food Network showdown and simply stick with what they know. Here are 10 of the top reasons you might not be qualified for a Food Network cooking competition.

10) Your culinary training consisted of repeatedly watching Simply Irresistible and Spanglish.

9) Your cooking style can best be described as “deep fried” meets “deep fat fried.”

8) You consider food an art form, but only because your job title is “sandwich artist.”

7) You’ve never actually been a chef before (cough cast of Hell’s Kitchen cough cough)

6) Your idea of fine dining includes either the words “hungry man” or “bottomless.”

5) You honed your skills as a line cook at T.G.I. Friday’s.

4) You seek inspiration for new ideas by checking Thisiswhyyourefat.com.

3) Your answer to everything is “add more cheese.”

2) You’re a vegan chef that doesn’t know how to cook meat.

1) You’re a VEGAN chef that DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO COOK MEAT!

We always want to be transparent and honest about our article content. From time to time, we may link to products and services that compensate us for the referral. This does not affect your cost, but it does help us fund future content for this site.