10 reasons peta should leave p

Everyone’s favorite animal rights group is once again getting all bent out of shape over something completely ridiculous, and has targeted the fish throwers at Seattle’s famous Pike Place Market for their barbaric showcase featuring, “corpses used as toys.” As a life-long native of Seattle, I’m confident there’s no chance PETA will have any impact on our market or the iconic fish throwers. But, even so, here are 10 reasons PETA should back the eff off and leave Pike Place Market’s fish throwers alone:

10) The aquarium is right down the street and they could opt to work toward saving the fish that still have a chance

9) They should reprioritize and spend more time protesting Obama for his inhumane treatment of flies

8) Without the fish throwers there’d be nothing left for tourists to gawk at

7) Showmanship is all that’s keeping that store from simply selling overpriced fish

6) It’s still better than the booth at the other end of the market specializing in seal clubbing

5) Without the fish throwers every national sports broadcast would need new stock footage of Seattle

4) There’s a strong possibility the fish don’t care if they’re being tossed around

3) The fish throwers are as much a part of Seattle as Starbucks, the Space Needle, and the SuperSonics, and we’ll be damned if we let any of those things go

2) Leaving the fish throwers alone would free up more time for PETA to work on saving the animals they euthanize

1) It’s a freakin’ FISH!