10 Disturbing Things to Expect if The Government Implements a “Fat Tax”

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Recently the idea of a “Fat Tax” has been tossed around as a possible solution for helping to fund health care reform. The likelihood of it ever being implemented seems to be somewhere between slim and none, but we still thought it would be fun to look into our crystal ball and make a few predictions about what we could expect if a “Fat Tax” ever comes to pass. With that in mind, here are 10 disturbing things you can expect if the government ever chooses to implement a “Fat Tax.”

10) Milkshakes will be the new “it” drink for rappers attempting to showcase their wealth.

9) Buffets will become the new place to go when you want to impress someone by spending big on a first date.

8) Dollar menus will be a thing of the past.

7) It will finally be more cost effective to make your own quesadillas than to order from Taco Bell.

6) Pork rinds will replace poker chips as the new betting standard for card games.

5) Rock bottom mac and cheese addicts will be seen shamefully snorting sauce packets.

4) Gold-covered chocolate coins will be valued higher than actual gold coins.

3) The Keebler Elves will face bankruptcy when their treehouse is repossessed by the bank.

2) The butter dispensers at movie theaters will require a debit card.

1) In a desperate effort to score extra cash, Louis Anderson and Bruce Vilanch will team up for a sitcom titled “Two and a Half Sandwiches.”