Yesterday we wrote about a woman who stabbed her boyfriend in the chest because he refused to let her grab a Pop Tart. Sure, we conceded that this sort of behavior might have been a tad excessive, but it got us thinking, is there ever a good enough reason to shank someone over a simple food dispute? Our assertion is, “yes.” Here are 10 acceptable reasons to stab someone because of food.
10) You’re almost done making mac and cheese, only to realize they’ve drank the last of the milk.
9) They preach about how it’s “cruel to eat meat” while wearing a leather jacket and fur-lined boots.
7) They promise you a nice meal out, declining to mention that they were referring to “Fourth Meal.”
6) They ordered their Kobe beef filet “well done.” And asked for a side of ketchup.
5) They insist that the group order a veggie supreme pizza and then proceed to eat the pepperoni pie.
4) They insist on splitting the bill equally even though all you’ve had is a salad.
3) They won’t stop asking you to “check out this $5 foot long” while pointing to their crotch.
2) You wanted a Klondike bar.
1) They stole your Pop Tart.
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